BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

Okee Dokee…

So, right now I am running around like a chicken with its head cut off (and, I am familiar with what that looks like firsthand… Remember, I grew up on a farm) trying to get things together, get packed, make sure the laundry is done, and see to it that my girls have food in the fridge, all before I hop a plane tomorrow for Texas.

Yeah, I gotta spend 4 days in Texas with Morrison. Pity me! (LOL) Actually, I’m looking forward to it, and for a change the weather seems to be cooperating so it looks like I will really make it there instead of being iced in like happened last month. (Sorry Detroit!)

Anywho, other than touting the fact that I am going to another country for a few days, I wanted to address something really quick like… Actually, a few things. So, in the interest of expedience I’ll just enumerate them –

1) I had a great time on the Paranormal Divas Monday night. It was a good show and they have already told me they’d like to have me back on the air with them, so that should be fun! Thanks Shelley and Christine!

2) I just did a phone and email interview with a lovely young lady who wrote an article about me for Modern Witch Magazine. Modern Witch is a new quarterly mag that is supposed to officially launch its maiden issue next month. So, be on the lookout for it, because Julie (the writer) made me sound like a really cool guy. [ I have no idea how she got that idea, but I’m telling you she has a future in fiction writing! (GRIN) ]

And that brings me to 3…

3) One of the questions I get 95% of the time during interviews is “Where do you get your ideas?”… I always say “my nightmares”, which is largely true, but I also credit the news for some of the input. Over the years I’ve had folks tell me that the news simply doesn’t have headlines that are anywhere near as weird as the crimes in my books. Personally, I think these folks are hiding under rocks… Therefore, as an example, here are two headlines and they are just from TODAY. This isn’t even counting the hundred or so I could pull out of the past few months archives…

MUNICH, Germany (Reuters) – Two Italian women carrying luggage containing the remains of a man who died in Brazil 11 years ago were stopped by Munich airport police during a stopover on their journey from Sao Paulo to Naples.

BEIJING (Reuters) – A Chinese bride burned her new husband to death after he got into bed after a drunken argument without washing his feet, state media reported on Wednesday.

See what I mean?

If I have Internet access at my hotel I might check in and let you folks in the United States know what is happening in The Republic of Texas while I am there.

Now…where did I put my passport?

More to come…

Murv

Nope. Not the electronic kind.

I’m talking about SPAM™ …Actually, since SPAM™ is ridiculously expensive (something like $3.29 a can… Probably due to the popularity of its name) I opt for TREET™ … Different company, same kind of can, same rectangular hunk of pressed pork leavin’s. And, it’s only 99¢ per can. Gotta love that.

Why? It means I can get three times as much of it.

Now here is the thing about SPAM™/TREET™/TRAM©/SPEET©. I love the stuff. Don’t know why. I mean, I definitely didn’t come from a well to do family, so I ate more than my share of the meat-like schtuff as a kid. Along with Vienna Sausages, which I also love. And, well, our psyche’s do tend to rebel and we normally eschew that which reminds us of harder times. But, the psuedo Virginia ham-like goodness of these canned pork leavin’s don’t really conjure a bad memory for me. In fact, it is more like a comfort food. It makes me remember a time when my family was still around – you see, with the exception of my sister and a few distant relatives, my ancestral family is gone. So, at this semi-advanced stage in my life I am a bit nostalgic. Therefore, I am all about things that remind me of better times, even if we were dirt poor and the times didn’t seem “better” when they were happening. Now, looking back on them, they seem like the best of times. But, that is the way with nostalgia, so who am I to complain?

Now, there are tons of ways to serve TREET™/SPAM™… Dice it up in some scrambled eggs. BBQ it. Roast it on a stick at a camp out. Hey, I’ve even diced it up and added it to homemade lentil soup. This stuff is so friggin’ versatile, I could go on forever. The possibilities are that endless.

However, I’ll stick to a single recipe…One of my favorite ways to enjoy these pressed and potted pork renderings is to slice the block into 1/2 inch thick slabs, sear ’em real quick in a hot skillet, then place a couple between two pieces of wheat bread with a slice of real American cheese. Now that, my friends, is good eatin’.

Okay, so I know you are wondering why I am devoting an entire blog entry to SPAM™/TREET™/TRAM©/SPEET©. Well, it’s simple really.

I love it. My wife and kid, not so much. The kid turns her nose up. My wife, on the other hand, will eat it if it is the only option and she’s really, really hungry. But, usually, she likes to point out that she doesn’t like it. Lately, she has even been on a kick of telling me that it is “bad for me”…

So, step forward in time a bit…I was having a potted-pressed-rendered-pork-leavin’s sammich just the other day. I was really enjoying it. The Evil Redhead proceeded to ask in a somewhat accusatory tone, “Do you realize how much saturated fat that stuff has in it?”

Honestly, I didn’t. So, I checked the can.

About 4g saturated fat and 6g of protein per serving (which is what I was having – 1 serving) 3g of carbohydrates in the form of sugars. It was about 130 calories, not counting the bread and cheese. Now, I will grant you, the entire fat content of a serving is 11g, but not all fat is bad. In fact, our bodies require it to function. And remember, only 4 of the 11 grams were saturated, which is the bad kind.

Now, the interesting thing about this is that when she asked the question, she was enjoying a serving of Strawberry Milkshake Flavored Malted Milk Balls.

Out of curiosity, I checked the box.

Her single serving was 180 calories, had 8g of saturated fat, 31g of carbohydrates (26 of which were in the form of sugar) and 1 whole gram of protein.

She was slightly stunned…

Based on what I was reading, her snack was worse for her than mine was for me. Not to mention, mine actually had significant nutritional value, whereas hers had next to none. I was also going to no longer be hungry. Her, probably not so much.

Of course, EK is about as big around as a stick, and her family is predisposed to live to 100 without any heart or artery disease, so the not so nutritional value of the malted milk balls probably didn’t hurt her one iota. But, hey, that’s not the point…We’re talking nutrition here…

You know, I think I’ll take the pork leavin’s over the candy.

More to come…

Murv